SUPPORTING OUR OWN

 As members of the RAEME community, we understand that we’re not just a Corps — we’re a family. And like any good family, we look out for each other, in and out of the workshop. Just as we’re skilled at maintaining Army’s equipment, we need to be skilled at maintaining each other’s well-being.

Recently, we’ve seen a few of our own facing some tough personal battles. Some of us are already stepping in like the brothers and sisters we want to be, but it never hurts to have a reminder: our strength is in our unity.

We wouldn’t think twice about taking our car in for a check-up when it is playing up. We have no trouble visiting an accountant when we need some help with our tax returns. Why is it that not enough of us seek similar support when we seem to be challenged with our thoughts, emotion or just general sense of self?

Unfortunately for many, when our mental health suffers, we try to tough it out, typically because we don't want to be seen as weak, we don’t want to put our burdens on our mates, we think we are fine, we think others have it worse or some other equally-wrong reason. At the extreme end, we may think that our family, friends or the world in general would be better off without us. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is that it’s natural for all of us to face challenges that make us question ourselves. That is totally normal.  It is also true that we all fall into dark holes at some point in our lives; we all do.

When we start our descent into the darkness, we generally feel that we are still in control but we get to a point when we aren't. What we tend to overlook is that the darker the hole gets, the less we are able to see clear options for getting out of it. We eventually get to a point when we can see every element of a problem but we can't sort it out. It is like looking at your tool box when it is in a mess. You know you need to sort it out but you struggle to get started because your mind is fixated on that 10mm socket you lost some time ago.

When you aren't in the right headspace, you almost certainly will not make the right decisions.

What comes next: We need to be there to lend support our mates, free of judgment, and help them find the right resources to get back on track. If you see a mate who may be struggling, ask them how they are in a way that works for you both. This may be something like:

• “Hello Mary, RU OK?”
• "Oy Fred, what's up, mate? Let's grab a quite brew and have a chat."
• "Morning Sally, you look a bit out of sorts. How can I help you with whatever is troubling you?"
• "Hey Mick, I know life seems a bit tough at the moment but I'm here for you. Let's talk about what we can do to sort this stuff out."

Once you ask the question, listen for the answer and if required, ask again. We don’t need to have all of the answers but we need to put out our hands to help our mates up. Now that you have read this, you may have a mate in mind who may need a helping hand. Have a chat with them and let them know you are by their side. Set a reminder in your phone to check in on them every so often, be that daily, weekly, monthly or whatever. Just do it.

A tough conversation now is better than attending a final goodbye later.

As soldiers, none of us go into combat alone. Don't let our mates fight their battles alone either. Have a chat. Point them in the right direction. That’s what families do.

Open Arms – 1800-011-046

Life Line – 13-11-14

Defence All Hours Support Line – 1800-628-036 (Serving members only)

   If someone is in danger, call 000 immediately!